Can say that almost everyday I'd advise my students to take care of each other by looking at their needs. And... my favourite quote would be... "a true friend would give you an advise that might hurt you but it was meant good for you. The rest of them just wanna stay cool or are just using you for their own good only."
Mmmmm.... today this quote kena I balik from my two senior assistants who are actually always there for me during my low tides. Me having the 'yes sir' character troubles them. And me without realizing this did actually put myself into grave situation. And now my working performance is no longer up to the par..... Not up to their expectation. Mana taknya.... lagi tinggi expectation.... lagi pulak tokleh nak cope. The advise was... "Hanim, learn to say NO!"
And when I heard this... I could feel my eyes filled with tears.... wah... susah no nak cakap nih. Coz selama ini I tolong kawan dengan ikhlas. Kalau dengan student.... MY STUDENTS ARE MY LIFE!! "U R a teacher and U hav to teach..." and these words are actually haunting me... mmm...I guess I'm not really teaching my students certain values...
Being childless is my weakness here.... people may easily see me as sum1 who is FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I have no choice... I do not give any tuition... for I feel giving tuition is like sabotaging the education system eventhough cepat kaya gak... So I have all my time for my students or what the others would see... all the time for myself.... Nak wat camner..... lepas nie... if I were to dismiss an extra job or a favor, I'd tell "Sorry eh... kita tak dapat nak tolong.!!! Or yang paling senang... "Sorry eh...kita nak wat baby..."
Kesian tengok kekawan yang sebenarnya mengharap kita bantu dia. Kalau kita tolong ..cuba tengok betapa berseri2 nya muka dorang tuh... Kan bagus tolong kawan gembira....
First step tomorrow is to meet my anor senior assistant.... asking for help... "..... boleh tak tarik saya keluar daripada badan ini...kerana saya dah berat sangat nih....." Tapi disebut gak... tak yah lah crite bantuan yang diberikan...nanti tak dapat pahala... Mmmm kalau tak nak cerita bantuan yang diberikan... wajar ke Anim tolak permintaan? (This really hurts me! Sapa nak pahala ditarik balik!!)
Kata kakak tu lagi.... Hanim...orang tak akan bagi kalau tau if Hanim tak boleh handle... Mmmm betul gak kan. So nak wat apa nih???